I returned the game, but I would still like to see the developers be successful. It would have been appreciated if they didn't close my topic before I could even respond in a professional way. I wasn't trying to be inflammatory. It was constructive feedback on offering options. So some good and some bad:

Improvements-

1) When I spoke about the developers trying to be inclusive with he/she/they , they misunderstood and thought I was talking about the MAIN character. I was not. I recognize YOU can choose how you wish to be addressed. But when your character speaks to a single male or female, the dialogue will say (something like) "You watch as they leave the room" I was referring to the multiple instances where the OTHER person is referred to as "they" instead of "he" or "she". It is distracting, and is improper English.

2) The initial tour of the Gun-Dog is really drawn out in comparison to the opening sequence , which is great and should have been longer. The significant slowdown to the pacing in the first 15 minutes could have perhaps been approached better. In a follow up, a stronger initial "hook" that lasted longer may draw in more people.

3) Several verb tense / sentence structure issues. Nothing where the dialogue comes across as "Engrish", but in a game focused on text, I would clean these up.

4) Reduce the GUI and increase the character panel size.


Good (don't change)-

1) I thought the decision to offer a color option was a good one. I passed on the game when I initially thought it was monochromatic. So, a wise choice to offer options.

2) Music / sound effects were fitting and very nostalgic

3) The characters were not dry. The humor and quirkiness of the cast made the characters more entertaining. If they do a follow up, I would recommend they lean into this even more.


I hope the developers have the opportunity to flesh out this universe further. We don't need more Call of Duty clones!

Gonna throw it out there real quick that 'they' gets used a lot to refer to singular entities, and that's so fine it's not even noteworthy to me.

I struggle to give a genuine suggestion. It's praise enough from me that I want to spend more time with these characters. I would have enjoyed a moment where there's some R&R. The story is very high octane. I think that's great. I wouldn't want to disturb that. I've a yearning for side chapters, though.

I know Vanessa's, uh, Vanessa -- but I would like to get to see another side of her? Where is all of this coming from?? I feel like there's significant complexity underneath what's presented. I like her! She's a kinda character I like, and she does that archetype in a way that has -teeth- and I'm so here for it.

There's so much depth to all these characters, but the MC doesn't really get to scratch under the surface. There's a lot alluded to, or left open to interpretation. I don't mind that, it can be fun, but I also enjoy getting to go deep in the pool.

Първоначално публикувано от Yoki:

Gonna throw it out there real quick that 'they' gets used a lot to refer to singular entities, and that's so fine it's not even noteworthy to me.

Thank you for agreeing that the situation does exist. I'm glad it didn't bother you at all. It was frustrating for me, and kept taking me out of the narrative. I wish "they" was only toggled into the NPCs if you chose "they" as your initial option for your main character. I really wanted to support the game, but for me it was like nails across a chalk board. And it comes up semi-frequently,

I only got slightly over an hour into the game, but I see your point about the MC. I did like some of the nuance in the dialogue among the characters. For example, when the MC arrives late to the bridge, the commanding offer says something akin to "thank you for making your way here eventually." (The exact quote escapes me) Small additions like that are very welcome.

I've also noticed the common theys and thems throughout the dialogue, but I read/write a lot as a hobby, so I'm kinda attuned to 'filtering' and mentally 'editing/rewriting' what in my mind seems to be just a simple case of 'Engrish' common to visual novel games.

As for suggestions, nothing springs to mind that can be actively improved besides fixing a few writing errors and grammar here and there, but I do have a dedicated request rather than feedback: The Soundtrack! I'd love to be able to buy the game's soundtrack to support development for future installments, or I don't know, maybe the devs could make or commission some orchestral versions of the chiptune music! The 'Kalyke 5' music in the prologue really gives the vibes of, "I'm here, but I really shouldn't be..."

Thank you for the feedback! I'll be reviewing these comments over the coming days and I'll do my best to address what I can.

Първоначално публикувано от Taltos:

I returned the game, but I would still like to see the developers be successful. It would have been appreciated if they didn't close my topic before I could even respond in a professional way. I wasn't trying to be inflammatory. It was constructive feedback on offering options. So some good and some bad:

Improvements-

1) When I spoke about the developers trying to be inclusive with he/she/they , they misunderstood and thought I was talking about the MAIN character. I was not. I recognize YOU can choose how you wish to be addressed. But when your character speaks to a single male or female, the dialogue will say (something like) "You watch as they leave the room" I was referring to the multiple instances where the OTHER person is referred to as "they" instead of "he" or "she". It is distracting, and is improper English.

2) The initial tour of the Gun-Dog is really drawn out in comparison to the opening sequence , which is great and should have been longer. The significant slowdown to the pacing in the first 15 minutes could have perhaps been approached better. In a follow up, a stronger initial "hook" that lasted longer may draw in more people.

3) Several verb tense / sentence structure issues. Nothing where the dialogue comes across as "Engrish", but in a game focused on text, I would clean these up.

4) Reduce the GUI and increase the character panel size.


Good (don't change)-

1) I thought the decision to offer a color option was a good one. I passed on the game when I initially thought it was monochromatic. So, a wise choice to offer options.

2) Music / sound effects were fitting and very nostalgic

3) The characters were not dry. The humor and quirkiness of the cast made the characters more entertaining. If they do a follow up, I would recommend they lean into this even more.


I hope the developers have the opportunity to flesh out this universe further. We don't need more Call of Duty clones!

Sorry that your topic was closed before you were able to reply. We've been a little heavy-handed with moderation in places due to the amount of messages for a small team, some inexperience (given this is our first release), as well as admittedly some frustration. I'll take responsibility for that. Closing down a channel for feedback is not a mistake I'd like to make a habit of.

I appreciate you providing your feedback here, and I really respect you for doing so, particularly when some of the feedback is around pronouns (which can be a contentious topic!)

Regarding the points you've raised about the script, if you're able to provide any examples of incorrect grammar/clunky sentence structure it'd help me out a lot. Even a vague memory of "when talking to Dalton early on there was a really long sentence that was hard to read" would help, but no pressure. There's a whole lot of words in this game but I'll do my best to find and fix the issues.

On the topic of they/them usage when referring to a single male/female character, I've just had a conversation with the writer about it. He said that he didn't intend for it to be any kind of statement and wasn't aware that it'd cause confusion - most of the time it was to mix up the language when he felt that he'd used he/she a bunch of times. He acknowledged that in hindsight it wasn't the right decision to make. This is the first time his writing has had so many eyes on it, and he hadn't received that piece of criticism until now.

To be clear, we stand by the decision to allow players to choose how they would like to be referred to, and we stand by Haru being referred to with they/them pronouns, but we're open to fixing the instances where a single male/female character is referred to by they/them.

As I mentioned before, this is our first game, and it's been an incredible learning experience the whole way through. We will be making more games in this universe, and each one will be better than the last. We might not be able to address all the feedback in this game, but we'll be taking it all on board for the future, and thanks to all who take/have taken the time to articulate their thoughts.

This message sounds a bit final, but please do continue to share thoughts in this thread. I just wanted to chime in to address a few things!

Първоначално публикувано от Jamian_Zephyr:

I've also noticed the common theys and thems throughout the dialogue, but I read/write a lot as a hobby, so I'm kinda attuned to 'filtering' and mentally 'editing/rewriting' what in my mind seems to be just a simple case of 'Engrish' common to visual novel games.

As for suggestions, nothing springs to mind that can be actively improved besides fixing a few writing errors and grammar here and there, but I do have a dedicated request rather than feedback: The Soundtrack! I'd love to be able to buy the game's soundtrack to support development for future installments, or I don't know, maybe the devs could make or commission some orchestral versions of the chiptune music! The 'Kalyke 5' music in the prologue really gives the vibes of, "I'm here, but I really shouldn't be..."

As mentioned in my previous comment, if you have any examples you'd be able to provide I'll fix them up right away!

On the topic of the soundtrack, I'm so glad you like it! Daniel did an amazing job with it, especially considering it was his first time composing the entire OST for a game! I recommend you stay tuned for a small announcement that may be coming very soon...

Too much on the novel side. That is what I would say. I would suggest less novelization, and more game. And when i say more game, I mean more player involvement. You know, like, I have my own feelings I can imprint onto video game characters.

You don't have to tell me to be scared. Just make a scary situation and put me in it. And I will just be scared. You don't have to tell me to be angry, just make an angry situation, and I will just be angry.

And you don't have to tell us what is going through the character's mind either, unless you're specifically trying to give us a tip. We got lots of stuff going through our real minds.

Edit:
As an example: Part of the fun is allowing our brains to fill in the gaps, without restraint. Like right now, in my current game state, my theory is that my in-game girlfriend is a robot, which is why she blacked out and has been having problems since the blackout. And that there is an intruder in ship. Plus some other crazy things.

See that? We already got plenty of stuff going on in our real minds. It doesn't matter if it is right or wrong. It is just letting the imagination run with the ball.

:end edit

This leaves quite a bit of room for fun game.

Also, there has got to be more variety in the background music. A better or more varied soundtrack would so sell the heck out of this game. The loops are just WAY too short. I almost feel like I am being punished for thinking too long.

In fact, that is why I am here, right now, at all, to begin with. I had to step away from the game for a moment, out of frustration, and decided to see what people are talking about, if anything.