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76561198309256517 17 Jun, 2016 @ 11:19am
The Augmented Eye Is Not Hiring
Hey all,

Community manager here. There’s a possibility you’ve noticed our little Augmented Eye random headline bot. As relative novices, it’s turned out way better than we might have expected.

But!

It thrives on a great big inventory of words to stitch together. We’re having a bunch of fun thinking up weird things to jam in there (“Could ♥♥♥♥♥ (edit: certain image boards are apparently too vulgar to speak of) Be The Reason Why We Devour Raw Human Flesh ?”), but we’re only capable of so much. So we’d love to crowd source this stuff! You might call it yoking slave labor, but we’d prefer to think of it as unsavory outsourcing practice.

Here’s how it works.

The example above is a framework that includes some variables. In this case, an #evilNoun and a #badThing. It could have been *Martha Stewart* forcing us to *Burn Grilled Cheese Sandwiches* or *Blizzard Incorporate* being the reason why we *Dilute Our Coffee*. More options means more fun combinations. Kind of like Mad Libs.

So I’ll list some categories we’d love to have filled out below, along with some examples, and if you’ve got some ideas? We’ll see about throwing them into the bot. We’ll be checking this regularly because, well, it benefits our corporate overlord. Don’t worry too much about grammar - we’ll figure that out (and The Augmented Eye doesn’t have the highest journalistic standards anyway).

Now’s your chance to make the news!

---

#noun - The subject of headlines - can perform an action
“Virtual Reality Addicts”,
“Neighborhood Bears”,
“Malware”,

#evilNoun - The evil subject of headlines - can perform an action
“Nestle”,
“Blizzard Incorporate” (we love Blizzard, honest),
“Omnivision”,

#badThing - Somebody would think it were an awful thing to do.
“Drink Flat Beer”,
“Send Spam”,
“Eat Soggy Nachos”,

#area - Where’s the news taking place?
“Santa Cruz”,
“Portland”,
“Discworld”,

#horribleEvent -
“The Banning of Nendoroids”,
“Deep Blue's Reign of Terror”,
“Mass Digitization”,

#weirdThing - Can’t do anything without people.
“Ideologies”,
“Blood Sports”,
“Telenovellas”,
Last edited by Kris; 17 Jun, 2016 @ 11:24am
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Showing 1-15 of 24 comments
rapurwanto 17 Jun, 2016 @ 11:58pm 
Here's some for horrible events. Please adjust with the setting accordingly.

Plot to Assassinate President Failed; "Won't Fix Anything Anyways."
President Assassinated - Clone Awaits Second Inauguration
Nation Leading in Suicide Rate
Not Enough Fuel to Bring Oversea Soldiers Back
Detroit Area Declared National Park
Lead Entomologists Share Home Cooking Secrets
Bees: Fact or Fiction?
Unemployment Down to Five Year Low of 57%
Redefinition of Term Saves Millions From "Poverty"
Military to Begin Phasing in Corporate Sponsors for Certain Uniforms and Armored Vehicles.
Firefighters Now Use Sewer Water to Conserve Fresh Water
Shoe to Person Ratio Increases to 3:4
Government Auctioning Off Territory
Too Much Smog for Solar Panels to Function
National Suicide Rate at All Time Low, Population Numbers Still Declining.
10th Museum Closed This Month, "Lack of Interest" Cited as Main Cause
Heavy Winds Delay Aid Convoy. Seamen With Knowledge of Sail Rigging Still at a Premium
MIT Goes Online-only, Begins Shortwave Outreach Program
British Merchant Marine to Be Converted to Wind Power
New Clean Food Source Found at Chernobyl
Last Horseshoe Crab Dies in Captivity
Disney World to Auction Off Memorabilia Prior to Demolition
Olympic Medals Shift to Gold, Silver and Bronze Paint on Clay Backing as Part of Metal Conservation Efforts
Star Expected to Be Visible in Night Sky Tomorrow
Statue of Liberty Collapses From Lack of Maintenance
Mississippi River Fails to Reach Gulf of Mexico for Sixth Straight Year
River Burns Down, Town Left Without Water Supply!
Cockroaches Deemed an Endangered Species
Last Australian Dies in Prison
New Plantlife Spotted in Amazon Dustbowl
Non-vegetarian Options at Mcdonalds Coming Back "Next Year", Says New VP of Entomology
Last edited by rapurwanto; 18 Jun, 2016 @ 1:16am
#1
76561198309256517 20 Jun, 2016 @ 8:26am 
These are great! I'm nicking a bunch of them. Thank you :D
#2
bee 20 Jun, 2016 @ 9:14am 
How to Tell if Your Lover is Secretly a Dragon & How to Train Them
☆Kira☆ Miki has Bad Taste in Men - AE CEO D. Dawson Reveals!
"They're like nanobots for your nanobots", QUINCY to Protect Nanoroboticists' IP
Last edited by bee; 20 Jun, 2016 @ 9:23am
#3
sweetsharkboss 20 Jun, 2016 @ 4:28pm 
How Neo Breast Milked Virgin Spiders to Save the Underworld
#4
church_cheetah 22 Jun, 2016 @ 9:22pm 
Holograms of dead celebraties rumored to be unionizing
How the "Ethics in Non-aggricultural Turnip Activities" debate divided a nation
Butchered remains of a fruit cake discovered behind man's home, man argues self-defense
New documentry about the war in Korea airing this Thursday, public asks "What's a Korea?"
Man rescued after being trapped in a well for 59 days, promptly arrested for tax evasion
Most of North America under martial law after women accidentaly steps on kitten, riots become increasingly violent
Internet falls in love with new social media site, "ruined" after first update
How one broken vending machine lead to one women's fight for survival
New airport security measures impelmented to fight terrorism, terrorists say "I was gonna stay home today anyways"
Nigerian Prince raises over 12 million dollars in crowd funding, announcing kickstarter plans later this year
Possible cure for cancer discovered after man throws away 4 year old bottle of salad dressing
Hundreds suspected of war crimes during Black Friday to stand before the International Court of Justice later this month
Terrorist armed with flamethrower captured will attempting cross border into the North Pole
Charity organization shuts down after meeting the poorest man in the world
Child found in bookstore after being lost for 2 weeks, won 4th place in spelling bee
Ten reasons why you should buy solar panels from that guy who keeps calling you
New independant study shows possible link between Ad blockers and Nazis
NSA rumored to be conducting studies on how long the average human can survive without the internet
Memorial services to be held later this week for failed kickstarter campain
Fine Bros. announce new youtube series: "Pandas React to Steam Punk"

Journalism is easy:coffeebreaktime::emofdr:
#5
dedca7 23 Jun, 2016 @ 2:47pm 
Y'all are nuts.

Kris and I are tinkering with the Augmented Eye bot: https://twitter.com/TheAugmentedEye

Watch out for your contributions over the weeks. ;)
#6
76561198309256517 23 Jun, 2016 @ 3:02pm 
Why are there two non-interchangeable versions of double quotation marks? What?
Last edited by Kris; 23 Jun, 2016 @ 3:02pm
#7
church_cheetah 23 Jun, 2016 @ 8:27pm 
Opinion piece: why bring the 80's back if I can't say "Where's the Beef?"
Man purchases land on Mars and plans to build parking space for upcoming manned mission
World Health Organization struggling to contain Ska outbreak in parts of Africa
Interprative dancing now more popular than texting amoung teenagers
Gamestop announces Battlefield 1 pre-order bonus, includes sample of Spanish Flu and a shovel
Peace treaty between east and west coast rappers expiring later this month, both sides prepairing for war
DayZ developers celebrate 2+ years of Early Access, announcing retirement plans later this week
Gamers protesting Valve buisness practices, modders developing Half-Life 3 in Skyrim
New evidence shows Sadam Hussein had WMD's, traded them in at E.B Games prior to U.S invasion
Alarming number of pregnant women giving birth to children born with Windows 10 installed
As global tempratures rise, PC gamers are banning together to end Global Warming
U.N announces plan to make Earth great again
IKEA announcing plans to provide internet services in North America and parts of Europe
Michael Bay to direct Freddy vs. Jason reboot, rumored to tie into next Transformers movie
5 signs that your parents know the secret to immortality
How Tickle Me Elmo brought peace to the Middle East
S. Korea anounces they are making Anime real, Japanese Otakus threatening military intervention
Activision announces new Call of Duty title "Corporate Warfare"
U.S Census Bureau now requires residents to disclose how many weeaboos live in their household
Millennial Parents demanding public schools to provide physical copies of the Urban Dictionary
7 things you need to know before going postal (the FDA doesn't want you to know about #3)
Dooms day cult sends out survey asking what the best time for the world to end would be
Universal Studios announces Space Jam 2 VR roller coaster
10 signs that the nasty Taco stand you pass by on the way to work may be linked to Al-Qaeda

ClickbaitJournalism is still easy:BigZee::squidcat:
Last edited by church_cheetah; 23 Jun, 2016 @ 8:28pm
#8
church_cheetah 25 Jun, 2016 @ 7:49pm 
DoA: Extreme Beach Volleyball mmo announced, entering Steam Early Access next month for $99
Star Citizen announces next stretch goal to purchase NASA
Dear Esther HD details leak, includes 10-player co-op and zombie survival mode
Microsoft teases next Xbox One firmware update, now plays vinyl records along with xbox 360 games
7 best ways to prank a dooms day preper
Shenmue 3 developers secure funding after signing deal with the devil,
"did not involve a fiddle contest" says lead programmer
New TSA regulation bans LARPing gear from passenger's carry on luggage
George R.R. Martin announces plans to finish Game of Thrones book series after he transcends his physical form and ascertains immortality
Hideo Kojima announces new project, collaborating with Papa Roach, John Cena, and a hotdog
FreeStyleGames announces Jimmy Buffett dlc pack for Guitar Hero Live
New study shows that your neighbor thinks your fat and ugly and nobody loves you
Youtube launches preorders for its "Greatest Hits Collection 2005-2015" Blu-ray set,
includes commentary by Chocolate Rain and Tourettes Guy
12 easy steps to prevent your cable box from stealing your girlfriend
Research shows that there is a sexy version of everything from your childhood that people
dress up as for Halloween
New Playstation VR tech demo shows what it's like to sneak into a 30 Seconds to Mars concert
Scientists conducting research on the use of memes to improve the average humans life expectancy rate
Suicide rates spike as the current season of the Walking Dead comes to an end
6 steps to prevent the FBI from getting to second base with your step sister
How a trademark violation prevented the machines from overthrowing mankind
How Blockbuster could have ended world hunger
How post 90's alternative rock can lower the resale value on your home
12 hilarious facts about the people burning a cross in your front yard
Telltale games announce Weekend at Bernie's game
Chemtrails: what you didn't know could be hindering your performance in Overwatch
Ellen DeGeneres dlc announced for Goat Simulator
22 insane reasons why a popup ad just appeared on your screen
Activision rumored to have bribed N. korea to start World War 3
27 shocking reasons why you should ignore the sounds of me
breaking into your home and stealing your stuff (#16 could save your life!)

:Killmaster:
#9
WOLFRUN 26 Jun, 2016 @ 4:18pm 
Crystal Hassy: The truth of what's inside the drink?!
#10
Thaddeus 28 Jun, 2016 @ 5:55pm 
Flying Train 'Yesterday' crashes between Today and Tomorrow stations. Philosophers Puzzled.
#11
monoristi 7 Jul, 2016 @ 12:43am 
Local Sheeps Dream of Electric Jeeps: Was It The Androids' Fault?
Nine Secret Robot Emotions Only Corporate Leaders Knew -- Until Today!
Seventy Seven Apps to Enhance Your Cognitive Disabilities
Top Ten Tips to Terminate Your Unlicensed Terminals
Four-hundred and Twenty Ways to Tell If Your Girlfriend is Secretly the United States President
#12
Saladofstones 21 Aug, 2016 @ 9:28pm 
Is this still going?
#13
76561198309256517 22 Aug, 2016 @ 8:54am 
Originally posted by Salad le Veut:
Is this still going?

The bot is very much alive. The plan is to add to and expand upon it intermittently going forward, and we'd love to continue trawling the community for creativity we lack. :D
#14
Gordon Frenchman 3 Nov, 2016 @ 1:45pm 
Dolphin translating device now fully functional : first subjects warns humanity about a parasitic alien specie ready to harvest earth natural ressources and talks about the need to time travel.
UNO establishes anti-terrorist coalition. First leaked informations about it talk about augmented vision and o-range.
French president goes in suburbs to appease social tensions here. Burial expected to happen in the upcoming days.
Singer and Actor Meat Loaf forced to rename himself Weed Loaf following heavy protests from animal activists.
Sylvester Stallone to direct "Rocky Horror Picture Show" a horror-comedy movie about Rocky Balboa's Halloween party.
Fans of Lovecraft trash a phone shop in full fear when told about a Call of Cthulhu.
Scandals occurs during Olympic Games after discovering that several athletes were not doped.
Oil Spills in the ocean. UNO and US Army send Blue Helmets and Green Berets to make it look less dark.
Interview with famous psychologist, Dr Annie Balecter : cannibalism, the new Vegan?
War in Asia : US Army mistakenly disembark in Omaha Beach.
Next Nintendo console expected to "break the limits of actual technology" according to Reggie-Fils-Aimé. Sony and Microsoft CEO's died from laughing upon hearing this.
French governement to tax the right to pay taxes.
Famous Rapper F.U! to release his autobiography : "how I ended being rich and famous while doing s.hit?". Expects to sell millions.
Facebook suing social network Headtome for plagiarism.
Vatican accuses France of blasphemy and excommunication because the french word for d.ildo is "gode".
France and England going on war again out of boredom and because it's been some time since they had a good fight.
Italian Ninja wins the Ultimate Warrior Championship by beheading his opponent with a frozen pizza.
Religious fundamentalists asking to stop using the word "Hello", replacing it instead with "Heaveno".
Camper's wife gets eaten by starving bears after he called her honey.
French cinema decide to change and claim it'll be even more boring, pretentious and empty than before.
Homophobic pastor dies shocking with a glass of water after claiming "god send floods to wipe all homosexuals from the earth".
Man claimed dead after accident miraculously comes back to life and commits suicide right after learning his wife survived too.
Corporation establish "happy days" : all amployees have to smile during work or get fired. Massive unemployment rate augmentation registered in the following days.
High-classes people in France allowed to throw food to lower-classes people from their windows as a gesture of solidarity against poverty.
Last edited by Gordon Frenchman; 3 Nov, 2016 @ 1:47pm
#15
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VA-11 Hall-A: Cyberpunk Bartender Action > General Discussions > Topic Details
Date Posted: 17 Jun, 2016 @ 11:19am
Posts: 24

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