imagine having a really big spider as a pet that didn't bite or jump or do anything scary just like a two foot long spider that just sits there and follows you around like a puppy and speaks english and when it talks it has a really deep voice and talks in a really aggressive voice and rarely speaks when it speaks it only says helpful things like “yo man there's balloons on sale in the next aisle for like 90% off” in its deep spider voice and it's just like a really chill spider overall