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After exhausting all Dorito™ flavours, you may also feel inclined to 'dip' your taste buds in the other varying flavours when it comes to chips. I myself have delightfully indulged in Twisties™. While I can appreciate the flavours that differ from the original, such as Chicken flavoured Twisties™ or even Chilli, I, like a 3 month old seeking the breasts of their mother, cannot help but go straight for the original Cheese flavoured Twisties™ without hesitation. With such an impactful flavour, I find it unavoidable for my taste buds to linger towards such perfection, all while knowing that each and every Twistie™ is not the same. Now i'm not talking about flavour, no, i'm talking about shape, size, thickness, density, curvature, whether it's tapered or, dare I say it... straight!?
At this point, i'm almost too afraid to even say it. That word... straight. It gets me every time...
While I myself appreciate all Twisties™ from around the world, every flavour and colour, every shape and size no matter how big or small, I just... I can't. It goes against the very nature of the perfection I once sought to base my life upon, the very gift I wanted to pass down to the future chip-appreciating generations to come. I thought it was perfect, IT WAS PERFECT I SAY!
But alas, sometimes a good thing, must be exposed for the evil it hides within its mysterious cloak of righteousness. Sometimes, we must hold these lies accountable for what they truly are. Sometimes, we must speak up and raise our fists and voices at the criminal actions of these corporations!
They cannot continue to sell us these lies and expect us to just accept it, which is why I need YOU, to help me. I cannot trek this journey alone. I need warriors of courage. Soldiers of fearlessness. Men and women that are willing to sacrifice their very own life to right this wrong, and leave a defiant mark in our history, a bold statement of truth to rid Twisties™ of their 'straighties' FOR GOOD!
Then we will be able to eternally enjoy our delicious Twisties™ in peace, knowing their will never be another invasion of 'straighties' again.
Oh, wait a second..
Someone loaded my packet of Twisties™ with Dr. Calamari's Belgium Fries...