+rep Is not en ♥♥♥♥♥ and has sweg but I still hav mor sweg.

>stroll into my local Pickle store.
>looking to pick up a jar of some nice pickles.
>grab the jar and take it to the charming maiden at the register
>"Pardon me, milady...but could you ring me up? A shame I don't have your number or I'd ring you up instead..."
>she giggles and takes the jar, blushing as her fingers brush mine due to my fingerless gloves
>her eyes widen as she reads the jar logo.
>"Wow, I've never seen anyone buy this before! You must have special taste!"
>I smile and ready a witty response when suddenly a voice rings out from behind
>"Hahaha look at what this ♥♥♥♥♥♥ is buying! That's not Vlasic Brand Pickles What a piece of ♥♥♥♥!"
>I quickly turn around, my cloak billowing behind me, to discern the source of the rude outburst
>generic dudebro caricature with a sports team cap and "the guy that beat you up that one time behind the school in early October" shirt is standing there guffawing

>"Excuse me sir...you may disparage my person if you wish, but it is untoward to swear in front of a lady."
>"♥♥♥♥ you ♥♥♥♥♥♥!"
>I smile quietly and tip my fedora low across my eyes, concealing them
>"As you wish..."
>I quickly swing my cane into his kneecap before he can react
>he bellows and charges forward
>I expertly sidestep him and the cashier screams as he crashes into the counter
>I draw my sword-cane and mutter a quiet oath as I drive it deep into his back
>"...rest in pickles..."
>As I clean my blade the girl walks out from behind the counter, twirling her hair with her fingers
>"So...maybe you'd like to come over to my place so i can show you how i eat pickles sometime...?
>"No thanks, milady, Pickle Crate is something that only a real man can eat. Besides..."
>I sheath my sword
>"You're not my type."
>skate away on my Heelys.

m9
m88
bruh