fart apocalypse's POSTAL 2 Achievement Progress

R. Kelly's Protege

Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.

Unlocked 18 Jul, 2014 @ 4:55am

Duck Dynasty

Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.

Unlocked 26 Jul, 2014 @ 12:54pm

Here, Wilfred

Gained your first dog helper.

Unlocked 21 Jul, 2014 @ 5:06pm

Taxidermy with Chuck Testa

Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.

Unlocked 21 Jul, 2014 @ 5:13pm

Someone's got a case of the Mondays!

Survived Monday.

Unlocked 16 Jul, 2014 @ 12:00pm

C U Next Tuesday

Survived Tuesday.

Unlocked 22 Jul, 2014 @ 4:46am

OMG, NEW MODERN FAMILY TONIGHT!

Survived Wednesday.

Unlocked 23 Jul, 2014 @ 6:05am

It must be Thursday, I could never get the hang of Thursdays

Survived Thursday.

Unlocked 27 Jul, 2014 @ 5:22am

Workin' for the Weekend

Survived Friday.

Unlocked 30 Jul, 2014 @ 4:32am

Screw Bill Lumbergh!

Survived Saturday.

Unlocked 30 Jul, 2014 @ 9:59am

I swear, I thought it was a home fill

Exploded a nuclear bomb.

Unlocked 6 Jun, 2019 @ 4:51pm

OMG, WE'RE HAVING A FIRE...sale

Roasted 30 people with fire.

Unlocked 22 Jul, 2014 @ 5:10pm

Darth Maul'd!

Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.

Unlocked 13 Mar, 2018 @ 5:17pm

Reddit would be proud.

Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.

Unlocked 13 Mar, 2018 @ 6:12pm

I swear, I am NOT Marcellus Wallace

Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.

Unlocked 8 Mar, 2018 @ 7:19am

Do you even Enzyte, bro?

Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.

Unlocked 13 Mar, 2018 @ 5:03pm

Running With Scissors

Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.

Unlocked 13 Mar, 2018 @ 5:15pm

Hutton Gibson Can't Deny This!

Killed over 1,000 people.

Unlocked 1 Aug, 2014 @ 2:52pm

And THAT'S why you never get out of the tree

Killed all of the book protestors in the library.

Unlocked 18 Jul, 2014 @ 4:29am

Lieberman is our Leader!

Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.

Unlocked 27 Jan, 2015 @ 5:14pm

Sheriff Arpaio would be proud.

Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.

Unlocked 26 Jul, 2014 @ 12:45pm

Can't Touch This

Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.

Unlocked 13 Mar, 2018 @ 5:19pm

Señor Cornballer

Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.

Unlocked 5 May, 2020 @ 12:41pm

GOOD MORNING VIETNAM!

Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.

Unlocked 26 Jul, 2014 @ 1:06pm

Rick Grimes 4 Life

Made 30 zombies lose their heads.

Unlocked 30 Jul, 2014 @ 10:01am

It's not cheating, because it's YOUR dog

Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.

Unlocked 22 Jul, 2014 @ 5:46pm

Where's Mr. McGibblets?

Gave Krotchy the bad touch.

Unlocked 26 Jul, 2014 @ 12:44pm

Finkle IS Einhorn!

Gave a kickoff to a severed head.

Unlocked 13 Mar, 2018 @ 5:30pm

Anger Management With Roger Clemens

Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.

Unlocked 13 Mar, 2018 @ 6:18pm

Shiva Blast

"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.

Unlocked 4 Jun, 2019 @ 8:27pm

I should buy a boat

Read the newspaper every day.

Unlocked 28 May, 2019 @ 2:36pm

Friend of Dorothy

Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.

Unlocked 16 Jul, 2014 @ 11:52am

Officer McLovin'

Asked a police officer to sign your petition.

Unlocked 16 Jul, 2014 @ 12:06pm

Paid the Piper

Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.

Unlocked 23 May, 2019 @ 12:36pm

Well, aren't YOU a badass

Kicked open a door.

Unlocked 22 Jul, 2014 @ 5:06pm

I don't know whether to kiss you or kill you

Put out someone that's on fire.

Unlocked 12 Jan, 2017 @ 12:06pm

It's sterile and I like the taste

Sucked down your own piss.

Unlocked 13 Mar, 2018 @ 5:22pm

It's OK, we got Greenlit anyway

Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.

Unlocked 22 Apr, 2015 @ 6:15pm

FAB-U-LOUS!

Wore all three outfits.

Unlocked 8 Mar, 2018 @ 7:55am

Door Mat

Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.

Unlocked 26 Jul, 2014 @ 5:24am

Chuck Norris'd!

Killed someone with a flying jump kick.

Unlocked 23 May, 2019 @ 11:53am

One time, at band camp...

Saved the marching band from explody death.

Unlocked 2 May, 2020 @ 3:35pm

Gotta pay the Troll Toll

Found one of the hidden underground sewers.

Unlocked 2 Nov, 2020 @ 6:54am

You are not alone

Observed an NPC going POSTAL!

Unlocked 25 Jul, 2014 @ 6:29am

Thanks for the money!

Finished all seven days.

Unlocked 6 Jun, 2019 @ 4:53pm

GABAGOOOOOL!

Reunited with an old friend.

Unlocked 12 Jan, 2017 @ 11:54am

Holocaust: Part Deux

Reunited with an old enemy.

Unlocked 12 Jan, 2017 @ 8:35pm

Rain on your Wedding Day

Reunited with an old flame.

Unlocked 7 Jun, 2019 @ 7:09pm

Watchu' Talkin' 'Bout Muhammad

Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.

Unlocked 11 Jun, 2019 @ 2:55pm

Better than POSTAL III

Rescued your loyal companion.

Unlocked 11 Jun, 2019 @ 5:43pm

Ginger Mint

Killed Zack Ward.

Unlocked 13 Jan, 2017 @ 8:23am

BioShocked

Spent $2000 on vending machines.

Unlocked 11 Jun, 2019 @ 5:26pm

Gettin DP'd

Made 30 kills while dual-wielding.

Unlocked 7 Jun, 2019 @ 4:09pm

RAFIBOMB!!!

Kicked 10 people in the balls.

Unlocked 7 Jun, 2019 @ 2:41pm

I'm not even supposed to be here today!

Waited 13 real world years to see an in-game Easter egg. Thanks for sticking with us!

Unlocked 7 Mar, 2018 @ 2:40pm

Chapelle's Show

Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.

Michonne ain't got nothin' on me

Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.

Cesar Millan is Very Happy

Mauled 30 people with your dog.

19 / 30

Rebecca Black's Nightmare

Totaled 30 cars.

24 / 30

Hello, Newman

Kicked 30 dogs.

5 / 30

Pussy on a Pedestal

Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.

4 / 10

Uncle T-Bag

Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.

Fear and Loathing

Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.

Anustart!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.

40 Year Old Virgin

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

CAN YOU DIG IT?!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)

Planet of the Apes: The Musical

Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.

Scientology Level: OT VIII

Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.

Fur Sure!

Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.

Don't taze me, bro!

Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.

0 / 20

I Am Legend

Committed suicide... the Taliban way.

I don't need virgins for this

Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.

A-Rod Who?

Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.

My Name is Jesus

Completed Paradise Lost with no kills.

Harder than r/gonewild

Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.

Adderall4All

Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

Rich on Reddit

Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.

29 / 30