Recent reviews by DJ Prostate Exam

progression is way too slow in this game and the gameplay gets way too repetitive after a short while

I like this game, it is nice

Metal Gear Solid but cute... One downside, it's too short.

This absolute piece of ♥♥♥♥ garbage game is a scam, the recommended specs are not optimised for even the lowest graphics settings, THIS GAME IS ALMOST AT THE END OF ITS LIFESPAN AND I AM STILL GETTING LOWER THAN 60 FPS IN THIS DOGWATER GAME. This game sucks, don't play it, don't buy it, don't listen to EA they lie to you making you think that you can run the ♥♥♥♥♥♥ game when you can't even run it on higher than recommended specs on medium graphic settings. ♥♥♥♥ YOU EA. And to whoever finds my dead body infront of this review. I hope my dead body will haunt you forever. Have fun scraping my brains off the wall.

"Overwatch 2: The Magnum Opus of Disappointment"

Welcome to the highly anticipated sequel that leaves players questioning why they ever enjoyed the original Overwatch. Overwatch 2, the game that manages to take everything great about its predecessor and replace it with an innovative blend of frustration and confusion. Strap in, because this is a wild ride through the depths of game design despair.

Let's start with the graphics, because nothing says "next-gen" like a game that looks eerily similar to its predecessor. Overwatch 2's cutting-edge graphics make it nearly impossible to distinguish between the two games, proving that if it ain't broke, don't fix it. Prepare to squint at your screen as you wonder if you accidentally loaded up the wrong game – again.

And what would a sequel be without revolutionary gameplay changes? Overwatch 2 boldly introduces the "Stand and Stare" feature, where players are encouraged to find a cozy corner on the map, plant their heroes firmly on the ground, and take in the breathtaking scenery. It's the ultimate exercise in patience as you wait for the enemy team to make a move, or for the game to just end already.

But fear not, the excitement doesn't stop there! The much-anticipated addition of "Loot Crate 2.0" offers players a chance to unlock even more sprays and voice lines that they'll never use. Because who needs game-changing skins or exciting cosmetics when you can have a spray of a cute cat or a voice line that makes you question the sanity of the game developers?

Overwatch 2 introduces a revolutionary ranking system where your skill level is determined by the number of times you accidentally fall off the map. It's the perfect way to showcase your true talent in a game that somehow manages to make climbing the ranks feel like an exercise in masochism.

But wait, there's more! Overwatch 2 proudly presents the "Random Hero" mode, where your carefully crafted team composition is thrown out the window as players are assigned heroes at random. It's a delightful experience trying to coordinate strategies when your team consists of three healers, a tank, and a lone DPS who insists on flanking every time they respawn.

And let's not forget the pièce de résistance – the new and improved "Connection Lost" feature. Overwatch 2 takes disconnection issues to a whole new level, ensuring that you never finish a game without at least one member of your team mysteriously vanishing into the digital abyss. It adds an element of surprise to every match, keeping you on your toes as you wonder who will be the next victim of the Connection Lost curse.

In conclusion, Overwatch 2 is a masterpiece of disappointment, a shining example of how to take a beloved game and turn it into a bewildering experience that leaves players questioning their life choices. From the unchanged graphics to the mind-boggling gameplay additions, this sequel is a must-not-play for anyone seeking joy in their gaming experience. Overwatch 2 – because who needs fun anyway?

Honorable mention: WHY THE ♥♥♥♥ DO I GET MATCHED WITH ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ WHO PLAY LIKE SILVERS IN PLAT LOBBIES WHO EDGE ULTS ALL GAME LIKE WHAT THE ACTUAL ♥♥♥♥ IS WRONG WITH YOU, EDGING YOUR ULT WON'T COUNT TO YOUR LOOKSMAXXING. I AM ACTUALLY STUCK IN ELO HELL BECAUSE OF THIS ♥♥♥♥ MATCHMAKING... also I'd absolutely ♥♥♥♥ the ♥♥♥♥ out of half of the female characters in this game omd glizzy overdrive gyatt livvy dunne looksmaxxing only in ohio skibidi rizzler duke dennis did you pray today kai cenat baby gronk rizz king ishowmeat moistcr1tikal monotone ahhh goofy WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT, SALAM ALEJKUM, ALEJKUM SALAM SON POLLO ME SALUDA O DEJARA DE SER EL REY DE OHIO BLAWG IS NOT ESCAPING THE BILL COLLECTOR

yes

The game is fun with friends and the fact that it's free makes it accessible to all, however it gets boring after about an hour. Still had fun with that one hour of gameplay

This is not a genuine review this is a cry for help, I am addicted to the gambling in cs:go and this is the only place I am safe from it I have a crippling depression caused partially by CS:GO and this game is better than it, it won't give you gambling addiction. Please help me, I just want to feel accepted, loved, winning in gambling makes me feel wanted. I am so down bad for affection that when I was throwing up at a party and a woman spoke to me and tied up my hair I fell for her and wanted to spend more time with her, my entire life is just an illusion, life in itself is a lie you tell yourself to keep yourself alive it's not worth it anymore, I am an incel who's been cucked many times over and only now am I realising life is unfair and it's beginning to waste my time here, no matter how hard I try for affection from women I always do something wrong, but they never tell me what and I probably make the same mistake, why am I like this? I am telling you this to warn you that life is cruel. I finally know what I must do, I hope you find your calling to. This is a man who would not take it anymore, I am the alcohol which disinfects this world from it's bacteria, this is a man who finally stood up against these ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ against this society of freaks, I will cleanse this world of the scum on the streets. Take this as a warning as I'll be burning in hell along with the rest of you. There never has been a choice for me, I've always been alone and I'll always be alone, I'm god's lonely man and now I will do his bidding at a sacrafice. I am in a hell, and I will cleanse this hell of those who make it a hell, I'll die in this hell with the rest of you ♥♥♥♥♥ and I'll go to hell so other good people can prosper, this is my sacrifice to them. I do not seek fame doing this I just seek to bring equity to this world as the shepherd's sheep have been oppressed far too long.

OHHH YES I AM WINNER WINNER ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ DINNER I AM CUMMED SO HARD AT THIS HENTAI GAME AND THEN I GOT A BATTLE ROYALE WIN I CUMM SO HARD YES I AM SUBMISSIVE AND BREEDABLE SIT ON ME HENTAI DOUJINS MMMM SEX

I tried this in school and it wasn't like the game, I got expelled and got a restraining order.