mistor kab

-rep kissed too many fatties

you are a fat ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ monster

gf is prego
we like to get kinky anyways
one night things get particularly saucy
i'm sticking my noodle in her when i notice weird ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ chunks coming out, so i turn on the lights
wtf it's red everywhere and she's obviously not on her period
i look up at her, she's got a glassy, jarred look on her face and she's not answering
ohshitohshitohshitohshit
i rush her into my car and speed all the way to the hospital
she's still bleeding everywhere
by the time we get there, she's not bleeding much anymore, but all the color has drained and she looks colorless and almost transparent
oh ♥♥♥♥, she looks like she's in a vegetative state
storm into the emergency room, cary her to the nearest doctor and explain everything
he takes one look at ther and says
"sir, i'm sorry, there's nothing we can do"
"WHY THE ♥♥♥♥ NOT???"
"we don't operate on empty jars of spaghetti sauce"

HOWEVER, the movie theater managers didn't agree with me. They KICKED ME OUT of the movie theater, and I didn't even finish watching the Cars movie. Not only THAT, but they made me clean up my semen after it already dried out and solidified on the seats. THATS TORTURE!! Do you know how hard it is to clean semen after its dried out? You CLEAN semen after its FRESH out of your ♥♥♥♥, not an hour after you ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ nutted. This is a ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ OUTRAGE. Do you really expect me to not whip out my ♥♥♥♥ and jack off when i see a HOT sex scene in a movie? Either don't ban sex scenes in movies, or LET ME jack off in your theater, ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥.

Ok, this is ABSOLUTE ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥. I went to see Cars in the theater yesterday, and when Lightning McQueen got HOT with Sally in Radiator Springs, my boner engaged. When Lightning McQueen said "Ka-Chow!", I couldn't help it!!! I closed my eyes, and I TORE my ♥♥♥♥ to shreds, using whip like motions and pulled with great force. That was one of the best nuts I ever had, just thinking about it now gets me riled up. Thing is, I nutted all over the kid sitting right next to me, and his mom got all pissed at me, screaming at me for jacking off on her son. I told that ♥♥♥♥♥ to shut the ♥♥♥♥ up, and that jacking off is a natural, artistic, and beautiful process. You should BE HAPPY that my semen is all over your son, maybe he can learn a lesson or two about the culture and art of jacking off.