Our Legacy

I do see the meaning behind what you are saying, and I apologize for how poorly I have treated you all as of late…It’s not the least bit fair how you all have been treated by me for the past 9 months, and I will do what I can to make it up to each and every one of you :)

“Oh let us remember the old Project Gnome. The one who always played with us, Made everybody feel at home, and would always join whatever game you where on. He was truly a good friend.”

The old ProjectGnome has come and gone, and is no more…I would be a liar to say that everything would go back to the way it was, and that everything would be the same as it was before. Things aren’t ever going to be the same as they once were, for I have changed…To ask me to be the same person as I once was, is to ask me to undo the past, and that is out of my power to do. But you can be sure of one thing, I’ll be the friend to you all that I once was :D But for better or worse, I am not the man I once was, I have changed a whole lot over these many, many months, and I have become much more of a “people person” so to speak. I am much more concerned about others, than I once was all so long ago, and you must accept that the old ProjectGnome is gone forever…I need some time to get use to gaming again…


What did happen that has changed me so?

Allot happened…Literally the night before my mom was going to have surgery, I was torn apart from the very person I let get closer than any other, a friend who was far closer than a brother…I was devastated, losing a very near and dear friend is hard enough, but she was so much more than that, when I lost her I lost more than I have words to describe…My mom’s surgery the following morning went well, but that was only the beginning. As soon as my mom came home from the hospital, my parents decided that it was best if I was cut off from Steam and you guys :( When I lost you guys, I was cut extremely deep as well, I was so deeply torn I cannot even begin to explain how hard it was to lose all of you…My parents thought it best if I wasn’t online all the time so I would have more time around to help out around the house and be readily available whenever needed. (My mom had cancer, so I was needed allot more than usual.) Within the next few weeks, the only person other than you guys, that I could take refuge in, didn’t have enough time for me because he was too busy with school, that cut me really deep as well..

I had NO ONE left to talk to, every single friend was gone and there was absolutely nothing I could do about it…I have never felt so helpless, I have never been so scared, I have never felt so alone, as I did during those dark days…

But something kept me going during those dark days, something that had only recently been set ablaze :D This of which I speak, was the Lord, Himself, was strengthening me, encouraging me, and leading me on :) I will not get preachy on you, for now is not the time nor place for such things…

About a month later, I was given the opportunity along with a few other students to speak in chapel (If had never told you before, I am or more properly was deathly afraid of anything of the sort! I’d willingly leap off a cliff than take a leap of faith and speak in front of a crowd :P) But I remembered that my once dearest friend had said long ago, that I would make a better pastor than a graphic artist. I had always been so afraid of speaking in front of people and I was very unsocial, so I was dead set against ever even considering becoming a pastor or going into any form of ministry for that matter :P But she seemed rather sure of it, and even though I could never see myself doing anything that bold, but she was certain of it, so I began considering it and wondering if everything I believed about myself was even true. When the opportunity to speak in front of my entire high school came, I felt led to take advantage of the opportunity and see what God would do with me.