Because concrete and wood is stronger than flesh and blood.

The year was 1087 S.J (Slim Jims)

Bob stood in shock over the deceased fur-ball of Afrodo Baggins.
"I'll get you for this Jimmy, not now, but one day. you'll see!"

Jimmy just cackled as he flew off into the sunset. Bob ran over to Afrodo Baggins to hear his final words of wisdom. Words so wise a wise man could have said them as their wise words before they died, when they needed to implore wisdom in the perfect moment to spur on their allies in the moment that they most needed some wise wisdom from a wise guy.

"So, you some kinda wise guy, huh?" Bob muttered in his new New York accent.
Afrodo struggled to speak, "Listen.... you must listen close"
Bob leant in to listen.

Nought Diggity Two

Bolton McCob-Cobbler was commissioning a new breed of cornflake to sell to Mickey Peterson & Co. it may contain nuts, but also it may not. It was however 100% kernel just like the colonel ordered. Storming the beaches of Normandy Bolton was right by the side of Colonel Peterson.
"So about the corn... Do we have a deal?"
Bolton was low on options, he had no idea why he decided to meet the colonel on a stormy beach in France, I guess he just thought it was the right thing to do, after all, this was where Bolton first discovered corn.

Peterson accepted the proposal by Bolton and they married then and there on the beach.

Meanwhile Hadwickum was piloting his new found shed on the northeastern Atlantic ocean, as they used to call it. The breeze was cool and so was Hadwickum, he had his favourite sunglasses on. Gold trim, reflective lenses, he looked so freakin' cool it was unbelievable.

Out of the silence, the sonar gave a sharp ping noise. It was a distress signal.
"We better check this one out!" Hadwickum yelled with a smirk to the shadow covered passenger by his side.
The camera panned over to the passenger and the audience let out a huge applause. It was Regular Cowboy back from the dead to see another day. He looked majestic, slick silver stache and a cowboy hat to boot; and boots. Regular cowboy never used to have a moustache, but grew one out after his resurrection to try and help rediscover himself. Both Regular Cowboy and Hadwickum had matching sunglasses on and bobbed their head in time to their signature theme tune.
Hadwickum turned to the camera,
"Boy I sure hope everyone read 'Rise of the Cowboy - (The Shed Bible - Chapter V)'! A lot of pretty important and incredible things happened in that chapter, it'd be a real shame if someone missed it. They'd have no idea what was going on."
The shed blasted off towards the distress signal as Hadwickum and Regular Cowboy reminisced about days gone by.

Bolton and the colonel watched in awe as the mighty oak shed gracefully landed, the doors slowly opening to the sound of a pneumatic hiss. As Hadwickum took his first step out of the holy wooden vessel he knew something was amiss... or was it Amish? Bolton McCob-Cobbler and Colonel Mickey Peterson had their bonnets and beards on. All Hadwickum could smell was corn.
"So, what seems to be the problem?" Hadwickum inquired.
"The corn.... It's... It's too dry" They both responded, "We... We need butter... anything to make the consumption of this sweet corn smoother."
Before Hadwickum could reply there were two bangs *BANG* *BANG* And the corn lads lay on the floor. Deceased.
Regular Cowboy stepped out of the Shed, freshly smokin' barrel on his revolver.
"Looks like we're having this corn... On the cob!" The cowboy was so cool.
Hadwickum hated corny puns.
"The heck you do that for?! Those corny chaps could've been vital help taking out the butter bandits!" Hadwickum was fuming.

In the distance another shed must have responded to the distress signal. It was Bob and Afrodo Baggins. Afrodo, hair in a ball, complete curly madness down to his toes. What a guy, he can do front-flips you know, maybe you'll be lucky enough to see one or two some day. Bob and Afrodo watched in total bewilderment as the reanimated Regular Cowboy fired a shot betwixt Hadwickum's eyes.

"NOOOOO!" screamed Bob as Hadwickums body fell to the floor like a giant beached whale would.
"You were the Chosen One! It was said that you would destroy the Butter Bandits, not join them! Bring balance to the Shed, not leave it in darkness!"
Afrodo dashed towards Regular Cowboy and jumped doing a total of 12 front-flips in midair. Regular Cowboy shot him out of the sky like a clay pigeon. Bob looked over to Regular Cowboy as he slowly peeled off his fake moustache,
"It was you the whole time!" Bob couldn't believe his eyes. He was face to face with Jimmy Robo legs.
"Yargh, It do be me!" Growled Jimmy. The audience gasped. It was so obvious now, Regular Cowboy was dead, you don't come back from that, at least not with a moustache, or robot legs.
"Looks like it's slim jims tonight boys." Jimmy gestured towards the two corn fellas who stood back up and disappeared into the shed behind him. They were all in on it, how could they do such a thing!
Bob stood in shock over the deceased fur-ball of Afrodo Baggins.
"I'll get you for this Jimmy, not now, but one day. you'll see!"

Jimmy just cackled as he flew off into the sunset, never to be seen again, until a week later when he was arrested for illegally hunting whales off of the coast of France.

Bob ran over to Afrodo Baggins to hear his final words of wisdom. Words so wise a wise man could have said them as their wise words before they died, when they needed to implore wisdom in the perfect moment to spur on their allies in the moment that they most needed some wise wisdom from a wise guy.

"So, you some kinda wise guy, huh?" Bob muttered in his new New York accent.
Afrodo struggled to speak, "Listen.... you must listen close"
Bob leant in to listen.