Reverend Jerry
jerry chwilowe   Poland
 
 
Koszenie mendy (めんどくせー).
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aaaAAAAAAAAAAAA
Hi lowlanders, why are you staring at me so stupidly, my name is Bogdan Smolen hey. And what I tell you I will tell you but I will tell you. I will sing how my father sang at a disco in 1939 in Zakopane, heeeey. Hey swift water, swift little water, a girl was asking for Janicek. Hey dark forest, green leaf, where is my loved Janicek. And now I will sing you like I in 1995 have fun at a disco. It will be will be beautiful when brother-in-law pees himself. And I'm not afraid of rain because I have two bullets, brother. Two bullets, two bullets, all mine, all mine, hey. Heeeeeyyyeeeaaah! Two bullets, two bullets, all mine, all mine, hey. Oooohheeeeaaayeeeah! It will be will be extra, they will play sport and orchestra. I dance the robber's dance and I instantly feel well. I feel well, I feel well, who is spitting here, who is spitting here? Hey! Heeeeeyyyeeeaaah! I feel well, I feel well, who is spitting here, who is spitting here? Hey! Oooohheeeeaaayeeeah! Hey highlander I am a highlander. Hey from the Tatra Mountains itself. Hey little rain washed me. Hey wind lulled me to sleep. So Bogus I will sing you now how people should sing, all right? Lowlanders hey! My name is Pelagia Smolenska hey! And what I tell you, I will tell you, but I will tell you! It will be it will be super! Drums hit duck's rump! In a bar someone picks a quarrel. There will be a photo like this babe. Like this babe, like this babe, who tries to seduce Bodzio. Like this babe, like this babe, who tries to seduce Bodzio! Bodzio, Bodzio, Bodzio. My beloved Bodzio, heeeeeyyyeeeaaah! ! Bodzio, Bodzio, Bodzio. My beloved Bodzio, heeeeeyyyeeeaaah! In a cellar layed with stone, highland robbers were dancing! They let people play them beautiful songs and stare at their legs. Listen babe, listen babe, your shoe is damage... untied. It will be will be great! Already ambulances are driving to the left and to the right. Disco is spreading forward. To places where only dew is bedewing. Dew is bedewing Zosia's eyes. Bogus will bedew Zosia's eyes hey! And now all highlanders altogether: highlander aren't you sorry? Highlander go back to alps [halls]. Highlander aren't you sorry? Highlander go back to alps [halls]! It will be will be beautiful, it will be will be extra, it will be will be super, it will be will be great! And everybody to the right! ! It will be will be beautiful, it will be will be extra, it will be will be super, it will be will be great! And everyone to the left! It will be will be great my dear friend. And in the meantime let's go to an all-nighter [night shop]. It will be will be beautiful, it will be will be extra, it will be will be super, it will be will be great! And evertone to the right! It will be will be beautiful, it will be will be extra, it will be will be super, it will be will be great! And everybody to the left! It will be will be great my dear friend. And in the meantime let's go to an all-nighter [night shop].
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Arguably the worst Total War DLC ever.

Before I will tell you why do I think so, allow me to tell you some lore about Warriors of Chaos. Those are savage tribesmen, hailing from the barren tundras of Northern Wastes, who serve the Dark Gods. They are supposed to bring the End Times, Warhammer Fantasy's equivalent of the Apocalypse, which makes them the biggest threat to the world of Warhammer Fantasy. I know that I have skipped a lot of major details, but I wanted to shortly tell you that Warriors of Chaos are an important element to the series.

Knowing this, Creative Assembly decided to add Warriors of Chaos as a DLC. Yes, you can't even play as Warriors of Chaos without owning this DLC or at least modding the game. But it can't get any worse, can it? It can - this is a Day 1 DLC. This means the DLC was announced before the game's release, which is a quite greedy move, as if you wanted to play as one of the most important races in Warhammer Fantasy on Day 1, you had to pre-order the game. Otherwise, you would have to buy both the game and this DLC. In fact, the backlash from the TW community was so huge CA decided to make this DLC free for the first week.

Now, if we exclude the Day 1 DLC thing, is this DLC still bad? To that question, I only have one answer: Yes. You essentially play as a horde, which is logical for Warriors of Chaos. However, this horde is boring to play as. You start in the Northern Wastes (an understandable decision, given what have I said about the Warriors of Chaos' lore), a province being located the furthest in the north on the map. Despite all of the nations (minus the Beastmen and Norscans) hating you, you have a rather easy start, with Norscan starting armies being rather weak, compared to your heavily armored infantry and, depending on your Legendary Lord choices, artillery in form of Hellcannon or Dragon Ogres. You can essentially turn Norscan tribes into your vassals by "Awaken the Tribes" decision, which can make your game easier, but you can use this decision only on certain settlements. Speaking of settlements, you are not allowed to control any of them, as your faction is a horde, obviously for lore reasons. What this means is that your economy will be based on raiding and sacking settlements, with the most important buildings in your hordes being the military ones. Chaos Corruption is quite helpful, but watch out for Vampiric Corruption - Warriors of Chaos are not immune to it.

Warriors of Chaos' roster isn't anything to cry home about neither - their roster is heavily focused on melee, with a small amount of ranged units, those being the Marauder Horsemen (which aren't unique to Warriors of Chaos, the Norscan tribes have them as well), Hellcannon (a unit unique to Warriors of Chaos; I am not counting The Ice-Forged Legion - even if it is a Hellcannon, you can unlock it only if you have become the Champion of the Hound and you can recruit it for only one army due to it being a Regiment of Renown) and spellcasters.

Are there any saving graces for this DLC? I suppose - the price is, in my opinion, not too high, even if there are no sales around. Furthermore, as I said, this is "arguably" the worst Total War DLC, because the other DLC deserving of "The Worst Total War DLC" title are the Blood Packs - something so minor that was turned into a DLC (a cheap one, but it is still a fairly greedy move). Some people may even consider Warriors of Chaos' playstyle to be fun. In the end, treat this review as my personal opinion. You may find this DLC to be fun. I have not.
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Certified Femboy Kisser 4 Jan @ 10:46am 
:demoticon:
Septième Ciel 4 Nov, 2024 @ 1:57pm 
la con de ta mère que tu lag
CASTolfo 12 Oct, 2024 @ 8:49am 
:heart_cry:
Reverend Jerry 12 Oct, 2024 @ 7:30am 
shisui debil
CASTolfo 12 Oct, 2024 @ 6:51am 
ej brat, pozycz oczy dzieeeenki
kus 8 Oct, 2024 @ 12:18pm 
I also wanna ask what makes me a vatnik? I'm Ukrainian lil bro.